Further research

indicates that Pop Tarts are NOT part of a balanced breakfast for gorillas in the Como Zoo, prompting an investigation of why two knuckleheaded security guards let an unidentified Twin Cities area peace officer and a crowd of others to feed Pop Tarts to resident gorillas Togo, Gordy, and Schroeder at two o'clock in the morning. Alcohol may have been involved.

Geordies' team.
Schroedinger's cat.
Skinny little country between Ghana and Benin.

Alerted by a not-for-profit nutritionist in ALARMing terms.

Another qualified nutritionist asks, what kind of Pop Tarts?

Yes, we have no Banana Pop Tarts today, but the investigation is ongoing.