Sunday, August 31, 2008
Research reveals
The Beagle til now has not had occasion to cite the Kitsap Sun, but further research reveals that there is such a publication and it is The Northwest's Best News Site, and is good source material for a Flaubert or Capote with time on his or her hands.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
A question of slant
The Beagle Research Team now wonders aloud whether it might have produced a different result in a recent Beagletown Bugle poll if the specific option to be added to the Olympics were limboing under flaming bamboo.
Ask Dr. Hin?
Q: Dr. Hin, I make less than $5 million per annum. Does that make me working class or working poor?
A: Interest rates and offshore banking have no capacity to restore deficits of the spirit.
Q: Who is the governor of Alaska, and is Alaska really a state?
A: Many peoples over the millennia have inquired the same questions, with answers we have ever reason to believe.
A: Interest rates and offshore banking have no capacity to restore deficits of the spirit.
Q: Who is the governor of Alaska, and is Alaska really a state?
A: Many peoples over the millennia have inquired the same questions, with answers we have ever reason to believe.
How'd they get them signs?
A media expert who controls the northeast forwards this gem which, regretfully, does require you to watch a commercial.
$5 million rich?
An Alabama lawyer concludes that Jena McCain't has lost the will to win. Stacking mistake on blunder, he has built a foundation for...scaring people, that's pretty much it.
Family values? how so?
Maverick? he stood up to own advisors, like when Phil Gramm called America a nation of whiners.
Economic values? an indeterminate number of residences, $5 million cut off for middle class, and a more tax cuts for the fat cats.
GOSPers have convinced people that tax cuts for the rich is the same as capitalism. Wouldn't it be terrible if we spread capital around, investing in families, communities, and infrastructure?
And now the selection of the governor of what? Is Alaska a state? Now we got a Canadian and a Panamanian on the GOSPer ticket.
Family values? how so?
Maverick? he stood up to own advisors, like when Phil Gramm called America a nation of whiners.
Economic values? an indeterminate number of residences, $5 million cut off for middle class, and a more tax cuts for the fat cats.
GOSPers have convinced people that tax cuts for the rich is the same as capitalism. Wouldn't it be terrible if we spread capital around, investing in families, communities, and infrastructure?
And now the selection of the governor of what? Is Alaska a state? Now we got a Canadian and a Panamanian on the GOSPer ticket.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Why the Beagle almost never makes a retraction but just sneaks up behind and makes corrections
Jim Lehrer said, (words to this effect)
Earlier I made a mistake, as hard as that is to believe, when saying that Bill Clinton gave the keynote address and then was elected president four years later, as was Barack Obama. It was the nominating speech, not the keynote address.
Earlier I made a mistake, as hard as that is to believe, when saying that Bill Clinton gave the keynote address and then was elected president four years later, as was Barack Obama. It was the nominating speech, not the keynote address.
Breaking news!
In an ongoing poll, no Beaglereader has claimed to own seven residences with spouse or spouses, revealing, as suspected, that the McCain'ts aren't Beagle adherents.
History corner
GOSPers don't like to talk about history, because when people understand it, they are less likely to make the same mistake and vote Republicanard again.
The ruling class had it pretty good throughout most of the history of America, but ever once in a while there's a corrective, and the little people get to peek up from under the oppression.
Take 1945, you had a lot of people with a lot of experience doing what they were told, but then the war years also gave women and minorities opportunities for employment and dignity they hadn't had before, and it turns out -- being human and all -- they liked it that way, and people began to resist...
By 1955, a lot of Americans were ensconced in their opportunity society, and felt they had made certain sacrifices, such as their work and the lives of their family members, that earned them a right to a decent life -- a house, a car, a job, good schools for their kids, health care, and retirement security...not just for themselves but everybody around.
By 1965, we were in a great awakening. Americans worked and sacrificed to create a more open and fairer society. Americans made major contributions to development at home and around the world, our communitarian spirit helped all Americans achieve the dream. It wasn't like this hippie montage you see on t.v.
By 1975, the work ethic was lost. If the President of the United States could spy on political enemies and run an illegal war, then anything was possible, including indiscriminate sexuality and drug use together with slipshod construction and creative financial schemes.
By 1985, the ruling class had a retrenchment in a big way. Americans wanted to return to Father Knows Best values so they paved the way with laughable curves and insane economic theories (give to the rich and everyone benefits) and political machinery that made Nixon's look like pickup sticks.
By 1995, we switched back again to investing in knowledge and communities and believing in individual success. Hillary spoke about the benefits of an investment strategy that builds the economy from the bottom up rather than the top down.
By 2005, have we gone back to 1845? Of all the ruling classes, this has been the most ruthless, one commentary repeatedly observes. So-called conservatives supported federal regulation of education, actively supported bigger budget deficits, and pursued limitless nation-building.
It's time for a corrective that gives people a voice again. Hillary talked about the value of unions, the evils of discrimination, the value of investments in people and communities. She advocated all the things that make GOSPers gasp and grab their chests -- health care, education, fair wages, and jobs for American families.
The entire Beagletarian community is scratching their heads about why this election is close.
The ruling class had it pretty good throughout most of the history of America, but ever once in a while there's a corrective, and the little people get to peek up from under the oppression.
Take 1945, you had a lot of people with a lot of experience doing what they were told, but then the war years also gave women and minorities opportunities for employment and dignity they hadn't had before, and it turns out -- being human and all -- they liked it that way, and people began to resist...
By 1955, a lot of Americans were ensconced in their opportunity society, and felt they had made certain sacrifices, such as their work and the lives of their family members, that earned them a right to a decent life -- a house, a car, a job, good schools for their kids, health care, and retirement security...not just for themselves but everybody around.
By 1965, we were in a great awakening. Americans worked and sacrificed to create a more open and fairer society. Americans made major contributions to development at home and around the world, our communitarian spirit helped all Americans achieve the dream. It wasn't like this hippie montage you see on t.v.
By 1975, the work ethic was lost. If the President of the United States could spy on political enemies and run an illegal war, then anything was possible, including indiscriminate sexuality and drug use together with slipshod construction and creative financial schemes.
By 1985, the ruling class had a retrenchment in a big way. Americans wanted to return to Father Knows Best values so they paved the way with laughable curves and insane economic theories (give to the rich and everyone benefits) and political machinery that made Nixon's look like pickup sticks.
By 1995, we switched back again to investing in knowledge and communities and believing in individual success. Hillary spoke about the benefits of an investment strategy that builds the economy from the bottom up rather than the top down.
By 2005, have we gone back to 1845? Of all the ruling classes, this has been the most ruthless, one commentary repeatedly observes. So-called conservatives supported federal regulation of education, actively supported bigger budget deficits, and pursued limitless nation-building.
It's time for a corrective that gives people a voice again. Hillary talked about the value of unions, the evils of discrimination, the value of investments in people and communities. She advocated all the things that make GOSPers gasp and grab their chests -- health care, education, fair wages, and jobs for American families.
The entire Beagletarian community is scratching their heads about why this election is close.
A hunk of bone and a hank of hair
A Dupont Circle policy manufacturer reports, "While in Wisconsin, we visited Ripon, WI, birthplace of the Republican Party. There used to be a hall of some indiscriminate sort, the Republican House, now in dilapidated condition and no longer open for gatherings of any kind (or Chinese food). The photojournalism branch [of the worldwide Beaglesnooper network] has been stalled due to failure to remember to bring the damn camera anywhere, or I would send a photograph. There is a historical marker, notable for its lack of grammatical or spelling errors, that describes the quiet Midwestern manner in which the Republican party was cobbled together of Whigs, Free Soilers and sometime Democrats..."
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Well worth watching
Hillary gave voice to all the things too many Democrats are afraid to mention, but she said 'em right. I'm sure it gives the John Birchers a shiver, but atta girl.
As I recall we did it [saved the nation from the venality, corruption, mismanagement, neglect, criminality, stoopidity, recklessness, or bungling of Republican administrations] before...
She mentioned the Clinton administration, but the same can be said for Roosevelt and Carter. That should be the Demo slogan, "cleaning up GOSPer messes since ever."
As I recall we did it [saved the nation from the venality, corruption, mismanagement, neglect, criminality, stoopidity, recklessness, or bungling of Republican administrations] before...
She mentioned the Clinton administration, but the same can be said for Roosevelt and Carter. That should be the Demo slogan, "cleaning up GOSPer messes since ever."
Monday, August 25, 2008
Michelle #1, Barack #2
The answer to the musical question, "Isn't she lovely?" is, of course, "yes," but given her other gifts the Beagle would have been happier in retrospect to editorialize in favor of the Obama-Obama ticket.
Another ignored liberation group
Elleore declared itself an independent nation when the Nazis occupied Denmark and set their clocks 12 minutes ahead still today.The island's only permanent residents are birds. It is unihabited for 51 weeks. Its citizens are allowed to go camping there during seven days in May.
A less successful attempt in the US is equally obscure.
Reader feedbag
A DC-based kingmaker familiar with southern California geography elucidates:For folks unfamiliar with San Diego area geography, La Jolla and Coronado are about 45 minutes apart, even with traffic, and are the two best beaches in that part of CA--and the most expensive real estate. So, either the McCaints are indecisive or are really hung up on high status show places.
Of course, every summer the entire San Diego area is overrun by 'Zonies' fleeing the desert heat.
A contemporaneous, jingoistic Manhattan artist and full-on American flag-waver should go back to the drawing board with less extreme prejudice. The editerribles have ruled this submission banished and banned from Banned from the Beagle, and sure we have heard it before.
A contemporaneous, jingoistic Manhattan artist and full-on American flag-waver should go back to the drawing board with less extreme prejudice. The editerribles have ruled this submission banished and banned from Banned from the Beagle, and sure we have heard it before.
Almost banned
Competing narratives (all of them horrible)...
Someone or someones decided it was a good idea to do a commercial for Oreos with the Williams sisters and the Manning brothers. The Beagle snoops had the sound down, but the Beagleterribles can't imagine anything good out of the text or context. Again, there is nothing good in the connotation department that suggests this is a good idea. Nothing.
Someone or someones decided it was a good idea to do a commercial for Oreos with the Williams sisters and the Manning brothers. The Beagle snoops had the sound down, but the Beagleterribles can't imagine anything good out of the text or context. Again, there is nothing good in the connotation department that suggests this is a good idea. Nothing.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Streets full of police
riding on platforms around Larimer Square, where have you gone, Neal Cassidy? and where have the snows of yesterday? and helicopters and lots of bicycles, helicopters and bicycles. The Beaglesnoopers forgot the camera again, but there's always tomorrow.
Our correspondent team is headed for the U.S. Open, so prepare for parallel story lines from Flushing and the DNC0808 in Denver.
Our correspondent team is headed for the U.S. Open, so prepare for parallel story lines from Flushing and the DNC0808 in Denver.
Breaking! news!
In an ongoing poll, 33 percent of Bugleteers say they keep 77 residences with their spouse or spouses!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Ask Dr. Hin?
Q: Is the world pure evil, or is it just the people with great gabs of money?
A: On the balance, there are forces which have a logic unanswerable that is hard as iron to the seventeenth degree. One must land on ground reality before facing inevitables and their constituencies.
Q: I'm sure you don't want to get into it, but is that allergies or why are your eyes so puffy?
A: Sufficient liquids in appropriate quantities ameliorate dehydration.
Q: Do you have an opinion on hair plugs or the Bork hearings? Did you ever see that exchange between Joe Biden and Robert Rauschenberg ?
A: The longshot backs into the stall like any regular.
A: On the balance, there are forces which have a logic unanswerable that is hard as iron to the seventeenth degree. One must land on ground reality before facing inevitables and their constituencies.
Q: I'm sure you don't want to get into it, but is that allergies or why are your eyes so puffy?
A: Sufficient liquids in appropriate quantities ameliorate dehydration.
Q: Do you have an opinion on hair plugs or the Bork hearings? Did you ever see that exchange between Joe Biden and Robert Rauschenberg ?
A: The longshot backs into the stall like any regular.
The Beagle has fallen down on the news
There's some kind of athletic competition that won't go away, and police are starting to ddouble up in Denver. Helicopters fill the air, and squats of riot buster bicyclists, Denver's finest, peddle past with helmets and batons.
The Beagletorial snoopers have been far too busy down the rabbit hole and are not up on the latest gibberish, threats, innuendo, smears, and ominous questions that 527s want you to ask your opponent. Sometime we might look at a periodical but periodically we do not.
Yesterday, we canceled the home delivery. Some form of dead tree has been a part of the Beaglattitude Research Center since a whelp. Without newsprint, the Beagletolerable board may get the withdrawals, but it is another day, they tell us, and somehow we will prevail.
The Beagletorial snoopers have been far too busy down the rabbit hole and are not up on the latest gibberish, threats, innuendo, smears, and ominous questions that 527s want you to ask your opponent. Sometime we might look at a periodical but periodically we do not.
Yesterday, we canceled the home delivery. Some form of dead tree has been a part of the Beaglattitude Research Center since a whelp. Without newsprint, the Beagletolerable board may get the withdrawals, but it is another day, they tell us, and somehow we will prevail.
From 6,000 feet
The Middle Class is disappearing, and at the same time they are destroying Public Schools.
Duh!
-- A concerned mom
Duh!
-- A concerned mom
An astronomical number
The Edison light bulb, brilliant as it is, is a health and safety hazard, and you know it. All over the world young and old get burned to varying degrees by Edison bulbs. No one ever got burned by a Tesla bulb, but ConEd made sure every American was deadly afraid of being hit with some loose bolts of electricity.
Edison crushed Tesla with his winsome, all-American charm and a full-out campaign -- marketing, public relations, negative advertising, and innuendo (Who knew what that weird foreigner was up to in Colorado Springs?) If it hadn't been for that, we would have been using Tesla bulbs all along.
Today, modern Americans used the new-fangled phosphorescent low-energy bulbs, and gee whiz ain't modern technology something...except Nicholai Tesla came up with it for the 1896 Chicago Worlds Fair. And since they use 40 percent less energy and last longer that means the savings in electricity costs for everyone who doesn't own an energy plant for about 100 years adds up to....
Edison crushed Tesla with his winsome, all-American charm and a full-out campaign -- marketing, public relations, negative advertising, and innuendo (Who knew what that weird foreigner was up to in Colorado Springs?) If it hadn't been for that, we would have been using Tesla bulbs all along.
Today, modern Americans used the new-fangled phosphorescent low-energy bulbs, and gee whiz ain't modern technology something...except Nicholai Tesla came up with it for the 1896 Chicago Worlds Fair. And since they use 40 percent less energy and last longer that means the savings in electricity costs for everyone who doesn't own an energy plant for about 100 years adds up to....
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Look out Greenland
The U.S. Geological Survey estimates that waters off northeastern Greenland have up to 110 billion barrels of untapped oil reserves. The Greenland Home Rule Government and the Danish state have begun cooperative exploration. (Wikipedia article on oil reserves)
The development and production of $12.6 trillion worth of oil would be a windfall for the 57,000 residents that could influence Greenland's political dynamic.
At present, the main parties are the social democratic Forward, the conservative liberal Feeling of Community, and the separatist and socialist Inuit Community. Separatists in Greenland, well, you know what separatists do, especially when they're natives. They'll probably want some of that oil money, but anyway it was just sitting there.
The development and production of $12.6 trillion worth of oil would be a windfall for the 57,000 residents that could influence Greenland's political dynamic.
At present, the main parties are the social democratic Forward, the conservative liberal Feeling of Community, and the separatist and socialist Inuit Community. Separatists in Greenland, well, you know what separatists do, especially when they're natives. They'll probably want some of that oil money, but anyway it was just sitting there.
Can you make this schtuff up?
Denver police officials call on everyone to look out for suspicious stockpiles of screws, maps, or bikes that DNC protesters might use, so be on the lookout for people carrying maps or riding bicycles.
Hats off to West Des Moines
In recognition of the honor that girl brought to the U.S. for all the hops and jumps and things, the pure, um, pure athleticism of the Danish women's beach volleyball team, and the, um, the tradition and pomp, that trumpet thing, diving, jumping, running, etc.
Pundit roundup
Sometimes the talking heads are so entertaining, a blah-grr's job is a breeze. But when they get stuck on flogging the same dead donkeys, it is a challenge.
Fact: The GOSPers ran everything for a good long time. And by any reasonable standard they made things much worse in economic growth, trade deficit, energy problems, home ownership, job creation and other things that might be of interest to regular Americans.
LOOK LOOK Ds want to KILL BABIES and SURRENDER to FOREIGN powers at home and abroad and Ds want to STOP THE FLOW OF BARGAIN AMERICAN OIL, and if you have to ask how much gasoline is then maybe you have no business owning a car.
Being president takes experience, a lot of experience, a tremendous huge amount of experience that a person can only acquire by being as old as Ronald Reagan and Bob Dole.
Fact: The GOSPers ran everything for a good long time. And by any reasonable standard they made things much worse in economic growth, trade deficit, energy problems, home ownership, job creation and other things that might be of interest to regular Americans.
LOOK LOOK Ds want to KILL BABIES and SURRENDER to FOREIGN powers at home and abroad and Ds want to STOP THE FLOW OF BARGAIN AMERICAN OIL, and if you have to ask how much gasoline is then maybe you have no business owning a car.
Being president takes experience, a lot of experience, a tremendous huge amount of experience that a person can only acquire by being as old as Ronald Reagan and Bob Dole.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Energy again, but also lying and hypocrisy
A particular 527 doesn't mind lying its ass off in defense of the local GOSPer candidate for U.S. Senate, saying the U.S has more oil reserves than Saudi Arabia, hoping that voters never went to school or have access to Wikipedia:
Estimated oil reserves in order
Update: Further research reveals that we forget to mention it takes three barrels of water to produce one barrel of oil in the oil shale areas of Colorado and Utah, among the driest part of the country, and they are developing the technology to make it productive, but they haven't actually yet.
Estimated oil reserves in order
- Saudi Arabia
- Canada
- Iran
- Iraq
- Kuwait
- United Arab Emirates
- Venezuela
- Russia
- Libya
- Nigeria
- United States
Update: Further research reveals that we forget to mention it takes three barrels of water to produce one barrel of oil in the oil shale areas of Colorado and Utah, among the driest part of the country, and they are developing the technology to make it productive, but they haven't actually yet.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Puzzzle pagj
These popular MillerCoors beverages are really South African Breweries (SAB) that sells and distributes your MGB and Silver Bullets. SAB was founded in 1895 to sell beer to prospectors, replacing the local raw potato spirit mixed with tobacco juice and pepper. It is now busy taking over all the beers in the world.
Topvar -- Slovakian
Zorok -- Vietnam
Kozel -- Czech Republic
Bochka -- Russia
Zubr -- Poland
News roundup
Qantas had to stop for a potty break on the way to Honolulu.
If you were Russian you would think this is funny. Otherwise, this is not funny at all.
The jurors say the gumment should let bin Laden's driver go, but they're probably Manchurian-candidate fifth columnists.
Prachandra was invested as Prime Minister of Nepal.
A tattoo performer was injured when his breast hooks failed.
If you were Russian you would think this is funny. Otherwise, this is not funny at all.
The jurors say the gumment should let bin Laden's driver go, but they're probably Manchurian-candidate fifth columnists.
Prachandra was invested as Prime Minister of Nepal.
A tattoo performer was injured when his breast hooks failed.
Beneath the mediabelt
Sexual transgressions should only be of interest to the American people if they are performed by Democrats.
The Great Moralizer Rutch Limbo says perhaps JEdwards wanted a woman who would use her mouth for something other than to talk. Sean Ham-ity asks how can we trust a man who lies to his wife? Even the New Gingrich probably has something to say.
Jena McCain't enters his wife into the Miss Buffalo Chip contest at Sturgis, and no one blinks an eye? He's actually presently a candidate for president, and she is in line to be the most powerful person in the world.
The Great Moralizer Rutch Limbo says perhaps JEdwards wanted a woman who would use her mouth for something other than to talk. Sean Ham-ity asks how can we trust a man who lies to his wife? Even the New Gingrich probably has something to say.
Jena McCain't enters his wife into the Miss Buffalo Chip contest at Sturgis, and no one blinks an eye? He's actually presently a candidate for president, and she is in line to be the most powerful person in the world.
Further research reveals
Beagle readership spiked sharply among white males age 18-24 who haven't showered in four days with the inclusion of obscure 19th century British liberal statesmen, writers, and newspaper editors, and so therefore, according to standards and policy, we share a little more about Viscount Morley.
"In Morley's 1899 speech at Manchester regarding the Boer War, he said, 'You may make thousands of women widows and thousands of children fatherless. It will be wrong. You may add a new province to your empire. It will still be wrong. You may increase the shares of Halliburton and Blackwater beyond the dreams of avarice. Yea, and it will still be wrong!'"
"In Morley's 1899 speech at Manchester regarding the Boer War, he said, 'You may make thousands of women widows and thousands of children fatherless. It will be wrong. You may add a new province to your empire. It will still be wrong. You may increase the shares of Halliburton and Blackwater beyond the dreams of avarice. Yea, and it will still be wrong!'"
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Unless it's US, of course
From an alert Montgomery music aficionado who, given his training, should have asked the follow up question, "Exactly whom are you talking about when you say, 'We will decide who is right and who is wrong.'?"
100% American oil
The only reason we haven't been drilling in the U.S. is because of Democrats. We could have been having cheap, plentiful, plain ole American oil all along if it weren't for their envirocrazy supporters and the special interests.
For the last few years, it's just been easier to buy that foreign stuff, and anyway we could keep ours in reserve in case of emergency. But now that American gasoline prices are approaching almost European levels (old Europe), well that's a crisis and a half. And what's a crisis if you don't make it into a political opportunity?
Ask Dr. Hin?
I am only asking you as a friend, but are you alright?
Collective consciousness brings whole of the unity when we are quiet enough to hear.
Will I be gouged next week when I buy a car?
One is to gird them as in moral peril and stay solid until the last.
Do these idiots know a dang thing about energy, and are you telling me this is what this election is going to hinge on? I suppose it's better than gay marriage or something, but isn't it really a fool's game since there's so little they could do to affect the price of a gallon of gasoline if either one or no one were elected?
Let me rephrase your intention in the form of invasive question: What is that smart scent you have? Is it (product placement here) that is driving men/women mad?
Collective consciousness brings whole of the unity when we are quiet enough to hear.
Will I be gouged next week when I buy a car?
One is to gird them as in moral peril and stay solid until the last.
Do these idiots know a dang thing about energy, and are you telling me this is what this election is going to hinge on? I suppose it's better than gay marriage or something, but isn't it really a fool's game since there's so little they could do to affect the price of a gallon of gasoline if either one or no one were elected?
Let me rephrase your intention in the form of invasive question: What is that smart scent you have? Is it (product placement here) that is driving men/women mad?
Friday, August 15, 2008
Eureka
The solution to the energy crisis is not conservation or diversification. The answer is to pay millions every 30 seconds to fill the airways with such an enormous amount of bullschtuff to power methane turbines sufficient to generate the electricity necessary to fill the airways with an enormous amount of bullschtuff borrowed from Japanese television.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Reader feedbag
Readers were asked whether they would rather spend time with a Jonesing huckster, a boring, annoying banger or a righteous beetch – tied at 33 percent. Ya'll 're crazy.A Brooklyn Freudian complains that recent items in the Beagle exacerbated his propensity to roll on the floor.
A Washington, D.C. kingmaker complains that GoogleCorp forces paranoids who lived through the sixties and know this schtuff is for real with its give-us-your-vitals-or-shut-it policy to register and so forget it. You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
The Entire Beagletarian community urges any and all comments to be aptly submitted in their unfettered condition according to emailian protocols.
A complete organizer in an anti-union state suggests that the unwelcome advances on Olive Garden of one of Hugh's Playbimbo co-wives are grist for an item, but it's too letterman for the editolerables' inscrutable tastes.
Advanced conservative economics
The Beagle doesn't have budget for transcripts so this is a paraphrase:
Colmes: The Administration's own studies show that off-shore drilling wouldn't have an impact for 20 to 30 years, and it would have only a marginal effect at the pump even then.
Newt: They're wrong.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Newt: Wrong. If you trust the bureaucrats in Washington, I feel sorry for you.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Newt: Look, just the threat of drilling has caused prices to come down.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Hannity: You couldn't be more right, Newt. Next, why I like Lieberman, I really do, but give me a break.
For starts, it's not just Washington bureaucrats whose dispositions are less sunny than Newt's. The industry analysts who -- in the Bush error -- wrote the reports for the Washington bureaucrats also remind us that the promised gush of American light sweet crude is only American until it gets dropped into the big, brackish bucket we call the global market. Then it's just the going rate.
Point B: Do you think the drastic reduction in American consumption over the past three months has had any impact on the price? Well, yes, but apparently only if you study Democratic economics.
Number 3: GOSPer economic analysts all agree that more big fat tax cuts for the richest Americans and direct government subsidies to "private" companies is the answer to all our economic wishes and dreams.
Colmes: The Administration's own studies show that off-shore drilling wouldn't have an impact for 20 to 30 years, and it would have only a marginal effect at the pump even then.
Newt: They're wrong.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Newt: Wrong. If you trust the bureaucrats in Washington, I feel sorry for you.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Newt: Look, just the threat of drilling has caused prices to come down.
Colmes: Uh buh...
Hannity: You couldn't be more right, Newt. Next, why I like Lieberman, I really do, but give me a break.
For starts, it's not just Washington bureaucrats whose dispositions are less sunny than Newt's. The industry analysts who -- in the Bush error -- wrote the reports for the Washington bureaucrats also remind us that the promised gush of American light sweet crude is only American until it gets dropped into the big, brackish bucket we call the global market. Then it's just the going rate.
Point B: Do you think the drastic reduction in American consumption over the past three months has had any impact on the price? Well, yes, but apparently only if you study Democratic economics.
Number 3: GOSPer economic analysts all agree that more big fat tax cuts for the richest Americans and direct government subsidies to "private" companies is the answer to all our economic wishes and dreams.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
An actual retraction
The Duane Allen Nuclear Reactor was not submerged in the Iowa floods. There's no such place.
The place that was flooded was the Duane Arnold Energy Center.
We are surprised that no one caught that for more than a month.
The place that was flooded was the Duane Arnold Energy Center.
We are surprised that no one caught that for more than a month.
Puzzle page
Correctly identify the above:
a. Clarke Rockefeller (accused kidnapper being held in Suffolk County jail)
b. Christopher Chichester (person of interest in a Los Angeles County double homicide of his former landlords)
c. Christopher Crowe (former incompetent market analyst)
d. Christian Karl Gerhartsreiter (boy scout)
e. Michael Rockefeller who disappeared collecting Oceanic artifacts in Asmat, New Guinea, in 1961.
"I'd be out of my mind as a criminal defense attorney" to let police question him, Rockefeller's lawyer Stephen Hrones said. "The police take things out of context."
Why people vote -- part two
People vote because they bump into a candidate in the parking lot who says, "Vote so I don't have to come after you" or a highly placed political director asks the Beagle to find out how the new voting system is working, except the Beagletorial snoops went to the Library where you vote on county-wide issues, and the eager poll workers were most disappointed to turn us away. Got over to the Elementary School where they were equally glad to see the fifth voter of the day.
It was paper ballots in a manila file and fill in the bubble thoroughly for your choice of one. Security was hand-written numbers on scraps of paper that the registrar tore off before giving you back the manila folder to slide your ballot secretly into a slotted receptacle. It worked fine when you have five people waiting on one voter. But damn, when you think about the technology available, we've come a long way.
It was paper ballots in a manila file and fill in the bubble thoroughly for your choice of one. Security was hand-written numbers on scraps of paper that the registrar tore off before giving you back the manila folder to slide your ballot secretly into a slotted receptacle. It worked fine when you have five people waiting on one voter. But damn, when you think about the technology available, we've come a long way.
Ask Dr. Hin?
Having traveled in remote continents, I am ready to settle down. Or sometimes it's just the opposite, and I get the itchy feet.
It is a powder more so than any composite of cream and disinfectant, and various experiences can as well extend one's horizons.
How is that substaance abuse condition?
Health of exercise and right foods with plenty fluid intakes leads considerably well-being.
Is McCain't ever going to stop whining? anytime soon? give it a rest? Obama wants to kill babies and middle-class jobs. I get it.
Swiftboaters and the wholesome gang of all-American election fixers who know better than the voters are loading up their guns right now to go ever lower. Before two weeks is up, you will see this has been the preliminaries.
Material previously published here has been appropriately banned in accordance with our editolerable pledge and policies.
It is a powder more so than any composite of cream and disinfectant, and various experiences can as well extend one's horizons.
How is that substaance abuse condition?
Health of exercise and right foods with plenty fluid intakes leads considerably well-being.
Is McCain't ever going to stop whining? anytime soon? give it a rest? Obama wants to kill babies and middle-class jobs. I get it.
Swiftboaters and the wholesome gang of all-American election fixers who know better than the voters are loading up their guns right now to go ever lower. Before two weeks is up, you will see this has been the preliminaries.
Material previously published here has been appropriately banned in accordance with our editolerable pledge and policies.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Fun with definitions
What's the difference between an interest and a special interest?
There's no difference because any interest is special to the one who is interested.
There's no difference because any interest is special to the one who is interested.
Radical – any person whose position is two ticks away from your tolerance level.
-- submitted by a solid Mom at 6,000 feet
Sports section
Um. It's the Olympics. Um, over the top advertising and raw athleticism. Sports you never heard of before and never saw. Smog. Sportscasters they pulled out of geriatrics. Um. Did we say raw athleticism and women's beach volleyball?
Bring back Basque pelota and maybe it would draw bigger crowds.
Bring back Basque pelota and maybe it would draw bigger crowds.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Why do people vote?
Last week, the Beagle poll presented unsavory choices for the nation, and everyone was happy enough to vote in overwhelming numbers that Chainey was hoovering the Treasury. This week a surprising number of people have voted at all. Wow. Projected readership as a round number, measured against results like this according to our goals and standards, is indescribable.
Half of the Beagle household has already voted in Tuesday's upcoming CO primary, but some of us are struggling with the absence of any contested candidates or issues on the ballot.
Half of the Beagle household has already voted in Tuesday's upcoming CO primary, but some of us are struggling with the absence of any contested candidates or issues on the ballot.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
In an effort to better understand the readership...
The Beagletown reportorial staff has an interest in occasional first-hand observations, and since many readers have worked on campaigns or are in the process of preparing for campaigns or have a serious dread of being shanghaied into a campaign, we extended our research by taking a job.
One of the takeaway learnings of this experience is that people will lie their asses right off regardless of the consequences and that there is really no accountability for lying in a campaign, because the answer is always, "oh everybody does it."
According to the McCain't camp, there is no such thing as a lie. It's okay to say Obama wouldn't visit wounded troops in Lundsberg without media, because "it fits a narrative." A thing doesn't need to be true or not, as long as it fits the narrative.
McCain't has been dubbed Senator Hothead. He left his first wife for a beer baron babe. He was a Keating Five. He was a Cabal of One. He has been on all sides of every position from one end to another. He lets his staff and supporters lie like rugs and puffs up about running a clean campaign.
There's a freaking narrative without having to make schtuff up.
One of the takeaway learnings of this experience is that people will lie their asses right off regardless of the consequences and that there is really no accountability for lying in a campaign, because the answer is always, "oh everybody does it."
According to the McCain't camp, there is no such thing as a lie. It's okay to say Obama wouldn't visit wounded troops in Lundsberg without media, because "it fits a narrative." A thing doesn't need to be true or not, as long as it fits the narrative.
McCain't has been dubbed Senator Hothead. He left his first wife for a beer baron babe. He was a Keating Five. He was a Cabal of One. He has been on all sides of every position from one end to another. He lets his staff and supporters lie like rugs and puffs up about running a clean campaign.
There's a freaking narrative without having to make schtuff up.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
A recent felinious assault on a dog
A distraught family in the foothills west of Red Rocks is mourning the abduction and brutal murder of its little dog that was snatched up out of a bedroom by a freaking mountain lion that wondered in through the double French doors kept open during the recent heat wave of billable disproportions.
Some cattish readers may observe a poetic or even cosmic justice in the dominance of cat over dog, but they might miss the obvious point.
Love your dog? Got $50,000?
Want to be slathered with the same slobber to which you've become accustomed? Tired of trolling shelters for one of the 3 million existing dogs available for adoption? Don't despair!
Seoul labs are slashing prices on dog cloning!
Note: physorg.com is not on the normal review list for the Beagle headquarters staff, but a policy manufacturer who forwarded this on is normally pounding us to cover energy policy, and yet did not say anything about McCain't proposal to build 45 nuclear power plants in an impossibly short amount of time as soon as we can work out the disposal issues. There's no reason not to trust the government on nuclear energy. They've always looked out for our health and safety.
Seoul labs are slashing prices on dog cloning!
Note: physorg.com is not on the normal review list for the Beagle headquarters staff, but a policy manufacturer who forwarded this on is normally pounding us to cover energy policy, and yet did not say anything about McCain't proposal to build 45 nuclear power plants in an impossibly short amount of time as soon as we can work out the disposal issues. There's no reason not to trust the government on nuclear energy. They've always looked out for our health and safety.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Tragedy + someone else = Comedy
An alert Hampden reader sent notice that lightning struck an historic Methodist church on a Saturday morning. Hahaha. Now the Beagletown Bugle's own pet mountain is on fire from a "dry thunderstorm" (most of yer Eastcoast thunderstorms come accompanying by gully washing frog chokers). Watch this space for developments.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Friday, August 1, 2008
History corner
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody with the black and the white notes together to make beautiful music. Therefore, I reject the cynical view that politics is a dirty business, because if I had been in their position, I'd have done the same thing. Therefore, those who hate you don't win unless you hate them back. Nyaah.
-- Richard Nixon
Abbreviated celebrity list
1. Paris Hilton
2. Britney Spears
3. Barack Obama
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-
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498. Bennett Cerf
499. Jamie Farr
500. Jena McCain't
2. Britney Spears
3. Barack Obama
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498. Bennett Cerf
499. Jamie Farr
500. Jena McCain't
For safety's sake...
If you find yourself on a transcontinental commercial bus traveling across Canada, it might be prudent to get to know your seatmate a little better. Some helpful conversation starters:
1. Man, I think the appropriate place for a buck knife is together with your hunting gear when you are actually out hunting, don't you?
2. I love my Mom and Dad, and I've always felt I had their love and support and open communications...um, and also my spouse and siblings...and for the most part my colleagues at work. How about you?
3. You're not a homicidal maniac just waiting for me to drop off to sleep are you?
Note: The Beagletown Bugle and its subsidiaries are in no way remotely related to Greyhound.
1. Man, I think the appropriate place for a buck knife is together with your hunting gear when you are actually out hunting, don't you?
2. I love my Mom and Dad, and I've always felt I had their love and support and open communications...um, and also my spouse and siblings...and for the most part my colleagues at work. How about you?
3. You're not a homicidal maniac just waiting for me to drop off to sleep are you?
Note: The Beagletown Bugle and its subsidiaries are in no way remotely related to Greyhound.
Hey Turkey! Don't give our guys any ideas
The Turkish Supreme Court considered but rejected the idea of outlawing the ruling Justice and Development party (AKP) because it was going a little do far in the direction of Sharia. AP says:
If the party had been banned, its leaders probably would have dissolved the government, called elections and reconstituted the party under a different name.
The case also put the AKP on notice that the court would be watching it closely for the remainder of the party's five-year term.
Despite his avowed antagonism for foreign precedent, Antonin Scalia's clerks are scouring the decision for good ole Amurican corollaries.
If the party had been banned, its leaders probably would have dissolved the government, called elections and reconstituted the party under a different name.
The case also put the AKP on notice that the court would be watching it closely for the remainder of the party's five-year term.
Despite his avowed antagonism for foreign precedent, Antonin Scalia's clerks are scouring the decision for good ole Amurican corollaries.
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