Global warming? Not happening. And if it does happen, it's our job to adapt. That's what made America great.
When the Cuyahoga River caught fire, we adapted by passing environmental protection laws that resulted in exporting American pollution to China, where 700,000 annual deaths as a result of environmental pollutants are a much smaller fraction of their total population (0.23% in the US vs. 0.06% in China).
When all that peace and prosperity was breeding too much confidence in post-Cold War America, we adapted by starting a war like when your little brother sticks a frog down your pants, so that you flail around and punch your sister in the face.
When we told everybody that the quickest way to wealth is homeownership, and patted ourselves on the back while we sent an army of overpaid mortgage brokers to go seek out people whose English is weak, but whose American dream is strong, and tell them that it's all going to be fine, just sign on the dotted line, Jose, and your daughter can go to college, and then snicker while your powhite neighbors to try to underbid Wal-Mart by picking over the detritus at foreclosure sales, we adapted by sending everyone a check for a couple hundred bucks to pay the past due electric bill in time for winter.
When we built an economy on a substance we knew was going to run out, we adapted by using as much of it as possible every single goddamn day, because, damnit, if we don't use it all, the Chinese might get some.
Now excuse me while I refuse to recognize Iran because of their complicity in the election of Ronald Reagan.
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