BeagleCare -- the cure for linear thinking

According to the MSM (NYTimes) daily Beagleship is recommended by Drs. Soren Kierkegaard and Sigmund Freud, both of Old Europe. The Sigster, in particular, described the Beagletown Bugle as "something that ought to have remained hidden but has come to light" like the man who broke into a Slidell home, cooked himself dinner, danced around naked under the surveillance cameras, fixed himself a couple of cocktails, trashed the house, wrapped himself in a sheet and left. "The urge to find a coherent pattern makes it more likely that the brain will find one," like a zen koan or Beaglesentenceparagraph, the Times opines.