Monday, April 13, 2009

An overlong disquisition on connotations

The Beagleterribles and Beagletolerables debate long and hard about whether one item or another is suitable. Today, a modified "Simpson's rule" was proposed by a policy manufacturer, i.e. "if the kids don't understand it, then it's not dirty." This is different from the coarse, crass and base tastelessness jammed down kids' media receptacles 24 hours a day, so unlax.

The issue is the dramatic irony behind some number of enthusiastic Americans who are promoting, encouraging, and participating in teabagging. Not since passels of five-year-olds turned around from watching the 700 Club and asked, "Mommy, what is oral sex?," have so many Americans turned to the dictionary to try to get out of a semantic jam.

Sometimes, the dictionary can be less than helpful. Wikipedia even more unhelpful. How about a straight answer? Pardon the expression. If you were sitting Hampden, you might see John Waters leering over his latte, pegging you as a certified hayseed.

Collectively, the entire Beagle board has no idea what irrumatio is. Don't wanna know really. Also fututio and pedicatio. As Lenny Bruce said, "It's clean to you, schmuck, but it's dirty to the Latins."

So go ahead, middle or whichever part, fringe America, go ahead, Michelle Malkin, and encourage every good, red-blooded American to go teabag their members of Congress, if that is the political or sociological or sexual statement they want to make.

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