Qualifications

Half of all GOSPers want better candidates. What are the qualities they're looking for? Let's listen in to a recent Beaglemedia International-sponsored focus group:

     Sure, Gingrich is...tubby. But we need a candidate who...how can I put this? – is morbidly obese. That would help solidify support in the “fried and frittered” South. It's a sharper contrast with Obama who's...practically emaciated. – white Male, 31, self-employed

     This group, most of 'em, sort of finished what they started – unless they got chased off.  It would be better to have someone who just declared victory and quit. 
     I mean, if Obama gets elected, you know he's gonna stay. But if we had someone more...opportunistic...we could almost be guaranteed we wouldn't have to wait four years for a change.  President doesn't pay that well, really.  Compared to ex-President. – white Female, 42, between positions.

     Why aren't there any wogs in the race? I mean a Catholic wog, not a dot wog. I mean, this is 2012, really, and I think we've progressed to where we could have like a southern Catholic wog or a southern Protestant woo-woo Indian, right? Our coloreds are better than their coloreds, right? – white Male, 37, not really looking, but if you know of something, sure, maybe...

     When you look at, say, Santorum, I know he is for liberty for white, male, property owners –  just like the Constitutions says. And he says he would make needed changes in women's health and reproductive practices, I mean, that seems fair. 

     But I'd like to see a candidate who'll take a strong stand on government-mandated chastity belts and full quarantine for women who are pregnant...or, you know, menstruating. You know, like they did in Bible times. It worked for them, right? – white Female, 48, SSI