Post Vedanta Unified Field Theory

If you can follow any of this, you're eligible for a free chance at a PhD at UDLB.  Just send $5 in small, unmarked bills and your name will be put in a drawing.  Your chances to win are incalculable, unless you are a theoretical physicist.

When you get tired of talking politics

Hidebound traditionalists

It's really quite simple

Give us $3 billion and we'll prove it couldn't possibly be there

It all got started a long, long time ago

Or am I gonna have to slap a bitch?

Do these facts make my but look big?

Early announcement

Rules of the road

Yes we can

At this point

With Allen West on the loose You're probably asking yourself, "Am I a Communist?"  Take this simple test to find out.

1.  Allen West is the greatest military hero since George Washington.
          Yes         No

2.  The only appropriate function for the federal government is to go around the world waving its big missiles and scaring everyone into submission.
         Yes          No

3.   The Second Amendment protecting the individual right to own bazookas is greatest commandment and the First is like unto it, "You have the right to practice any form of Christianity you like."
         Yes          No       

4.   Are you willing to make a contribution right now to Allen West so that he can go on protecting America from its enemies at home and abroad?
        Yes          No

If you answered "No" to any of these questions, then you are a Communist.  Not you might be a Communist.  Are one.  Neener neener.  You love Che Guevera,  You want to kiss his fuzzy beard.  Go ahead.  Kiss it, Communist.

Oh, Angels of Conservatism, look down on us

You ain't seen nothing yet

One fact at a time

What else is on?

Sarah Palin bragged that she kicked Katie Couric's ass -- but, seriously, asks an alert reader, which would  you rather watch in the morning? 

 

Flip

Flip

Flip

Flip

Flip

Behind the woodshed

If we don't, we'll be Greece, if we do, we'll be Bulgaria

Basta! Genug!

Where's Waldo?

Whenever they's a fight so hungry people can eat, I'll be there. Whenever they's a cop beatin' up a guy, I'll be there... I'll be in the way guys yell when they're mad an'-I'll be in the way kids laugh when they're hungry an' they know supper's ready. An' when our folks eat the stuff they raise an' live in the houses they build-why, I'll be there.

DIY Beagle

Hey, kids!  Here's everything you need to make up an hilarious item about the hypocrisy of Kay Bailey Hutchinson and Lisa Murkowski for criticizing the GOSPers efforts to cut funding for women's health care and limiting access to contraceptives and safe abortions -- even after voting the party line.  (Hint: make a reference to Zaphod Beeblebrox so folks'll know you're "with it.")  Remember the simple rules laid out by Henri Bergson, Sigmund Freud (Jokes and the Unconscious), and Lenny Bruce (How To Talk Dirty and Influence People).

Dogs don't have thumbs but they do have rules

If it's not multiples or all of the above 97 percent of the time, the sound has gotten scrambled with another station.

Counts as 3 credits Advanced Media Studies

But hey, if yer 55 and vote our way, we won't change a thing

Counts as 3 credits Economics

Get on board

 

Counts as 3 credits Political Expediency

Dr. Hin returns

Counts 3 credits Pharmacology

Hope is the thing with a feathered boa

Counts as 3 credits Urban Transportation

Tampa Bay Blues

I'm standing at the crossroads...

America at the crossroads

I'm standing at the crossroads...

Don't know which way is worse

Oooh, oooh, oooh

Don't know which one'll burn me

Oooh, oooh, oooh

They're both inclined to keep me in line

One of 'em likes to fire folks, and the other is a pyro

So I'm standing at the crossroads

Rove and Armey's Crossroads

What'll he do to the economy?

Cut all taxes and regulations,

mmm-mmm- mm

Flaunt American strength to friends and relations

Oooh, oooh, oooh

W-with the Keynesian, it ain't America anymore.

But one of them's deranged

and now the other one's a whore.

SO – I'm standing at the crossroads

Sumnabitching crossroads

Just standing at the crossroads

Which one's less of

Which one's less of an ass, hmmm?

Which one's less of

Which one's less of an ass?

Ohhhh!

There'll always be tax cuts in my future

Cuts, cuts, cuts

Cotton candy, Paul Ryan budget butcher

so deceptively courageous

Hogwash and horsefeathers

Horsewash and hogfeathers

Oooh, oooh, oooh

TV ads, robo-calls

Which loser would you choose

to be less of a snoozer?

This one don't believe in science

Standing at the crossroads

That one might be half an android

Standing at the crossroads

One's prim and humorless, a reckless theocrat

Standing at the crossroads

The other's missy-prissy, Belgian waffles in a hat

Standing at the crossroads

I'm a-cringing at the crossroads

Cringing at the crossroads

Which way should I go?

Cringing at the crossroads

ahhh-ahhh-ahhhh

Counts as 3 credits Music Appreciation

Final Exam

We should have more classes outside.  Discuss.

Counts as 3 credits Looking Schtuff Up in Wikipedia