'At's tha first time I ever 'eard it in the pluperfect

They're gonna put me in the White House

I'm-a gonna get to make some history

My Admin'stration will have been successful

cuz everything I'll do is Retroactively

First of all there won't be no Recession

Next we will've won in Vietnam

All the oil in Mexico's Amer'can

World War I erased Afghanistan

Well I hope you come and push that button for me

As long as you are white and NRA

Bring all your friends and all your Mormon neighbors

if they ain't black and poor or young and gay.
 

The Dinosaurs will all have died domestic

Iran's the fifty-second state, you'll see.

The World has done all we ever suggested

And everybody's strong and rich and free.

Well, I prob'ly wasn't eligible as gov'ner

A little White Out can go a long way

If you saw what was really in my taxes

I'd be at country club prison today.

Well, if you got some facts you disagree with

I still won't show you what you wanna see

We'll Etch-a-Sketch the thing and start all over

I know how to fix it Retroactively.