Thursday, December 22, 2011
Reader's Digest Condensed Holiday Songs
Oh Little Town of Bettendorf
I need at least to show
My folks are all lined up to vote
I hope it doesn't snow
Away in New Hampshire
No boots on the ground
Poor little Lord Gingrich
is hawking books at the Crown's
We three saints were all called by God
You may think that it's kind of odd
But should one falter at the media altar
There'll still be a reserve, ohhh....
Hegel, Hegel, Hegel
Your dialectic's so material
Hegel, Hegel, Hegel
Political reality's so ethereal
I need at least to show
My folks are all lined up to vote
I hope it doesn't snow
Away in New Hampshire
No boots on the ground
Poor little Lord Gingrich
is hawking books at the Crown's
We three saints were all called by God
You may think that it's kind of odd
But should one falter at the media altar
There'll still be a reserve, ohhh....
Hegel, Hegel, Hegel
Your dialectic's so material
Hegel, Hegel, Hegel
Political reality's so ethereal
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Everybody has got something to hide
Mil-ton Mil-ton Mil-ton Mil-ton
Milton the Fried--man
Milton the Fried--man
Milton has got it going
Milton has got it showing
The Hand--- Invis'ble Hand--
Everybody's got to fess up and show
'cept for me and my money.
The more we take in net
The more we will strive, yeah
But put a new tax on
How could we survive?
C'mon. C'mon.
Milton & Pinochet
All Right all every day
Milton & Pinochet
Free market anarchy
Milton Friedman Milton Friedman
Everybody left can fight for the scraps
'cept for me and my money.
Your base is outside.
And your outside is base.
From the fiftieth floor,
you're out of our face
Mil-ton. Mil-ton.
Don't let resentment linger,
accept our middle finger.
We know this grab can't last,
that's why we're blasting past
Common de--cency, Common de--cency
Multi-nation'ls have feelings, they do,
'cept for me and my money.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Take back your life
Two hours per debate, endless hours of tiresome hash and rehashing the obvious, pointless belabouring, etc...times the next five debates? Really?
Now, courtesy of Beaglemedia International Condensed Policy Analysis, you can have that time back to:
-- Find an acceptable copy of Iron Butterfly on eBay.
-- Update your facebook page with hi-res photos of interesting things found cleaning your gutters.
-- Roulette chat with GOSPer candidates who have been kicking themselves for not getting in the race (Palin, Kasich, Walker, Daniels, Ricky Schroeder, Victoria Jackson, etc.)
Note: Some assembly required.
Now, courtesy of Beaglemedia International Condensed Policy Analysis, you can have that time back to:
-- Find an acceptable copy of Iron Butterfly on eBay.
-- Update your facebook page with hi-res photos of interesting things found cleaning your gutters.
-- Roulette chat with GOSPer candidates who have been kicking themselves for not getting in the race (Palin, Kasich, Walker, Daniels, Ricky Schroeder, Victoria Jackson, etc.)
Note: Some assembly required.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
The latest dance craze
What Rough Beast is this
slouchin' Armageddon bound?
I hope you can dig
I'm the smartest, hands down.
Oh, yeah,
Lord knows what I have did.
You can call it SuperEgo,
but I could be messing with yer Id.
I got Fresh Ideas that will
amaze and confound.
amaze and confound.
It's plain as day
I'm the Brain of these Clowns.
Big Lie.
I cannot tell a fib.
I cannot tell a fib.
You can say it's boundless Ego,
but I'd say I'm messing with yer Id.
Middling Amer-i-ca,
the brains of a sheep.
You votin' our way
while we bury you deeper.
Jump Back.
I gotta Contrack.
You votin' our way
while we bury you deeper.
Jump Back.
I gotta Contrack.
You can say it's all a phony, but
I'm always best on the Attack.
(piroutte)
Rented rocks on my wife.
I owe a pile fer my jet.
Stacks o' PACs workin'.
You've seen nothing as yet.
Big Lie.
I'm replete with bonifides.
You can bitch that it's Class Warfare.
I call it middle-class-icide
Mandates ' n Fly Zones? Sure,
I been on both sides.
Drown in a bathtub:
one of my best lies.
Eyes Right,
Lemme take you for a ride.
You can call it shrinkin' gummit.
I call it middle-class-icide.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Beagle International Pronounciation Guide
Would you like to see
GOSPer policies make more sense? It's a simple matter of using
correct pronunciation. GOSPers have no interest in creating "jobs,"
if by jobs you mean paid employment. Not at all. They are
interested in creating a nation of Jobs, folks who are willing to
attribute any deprivation or indignity to "God's will."
Now go back and read or listen to every statement of Boehner,
McConnell, Ryan, Cantor, and all of the eight or nine dwarfs on the
GOSPer primary circuit. Aha! Now it makes perfect sense.
/ˈdʒoʊb/; Hebrew: אִיוֹב ʾ iyobh
/dʒɑb/ Middle English gobbe "lump, mouthful"
The Beagle drives the news
The Beagle two weeks ago.
The Denver Post this week.
Superfund Hazardous Waste Sites today
Projected 2015 after full implementation of GOSPer deregulation
The Bible doesn't say anything about "zygotes"
That would be too much like science.
Now that the "personhood" amendment has failed twice in Colorado and once in Mississippi, it's time to focus on the real sin that gets you instantaneously zapped by Yahweh every time.
Now that the "personhood" amendment has failed twice in Colorado and once in Mississippi, it's time to focus on the real sin that gets you instantaneously zapped by Yahweh every time.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Future GOSPer frontrunners
Donald Trump, Michele Bachmann, Rick Perry, Herman Cain --
Apparently all you have to do is throw in to get ahead of Mitt...
There's still 10 months til the GOSPer convention. Here are some future frontrunners to look for:
December
January
February
March
April
May
June
July (The one to the right of W)
August (the one who's a deeper thinker even than Dr. Gingrich)
Apparently all you have to do is throw in to get ahead of Mitt...
There's still 10 months til the GOSPer convention. Here are some future frontrunners to look for:
December
January
February
March
April
May
June
July (The one to the right of W)
August (the one who's a deeper thinker even than Dr. Gingrich)
Back by popular demand
Better see it our way.
Would it help if I should read my
talking points again?
If we do it your way,
There'd be nothing left up here but
Marxism and sin.
We can't work it out,
We can't work it out.
We have got a jobs plan.
All we need to do right now is to shred
the safety net,
double down on tax cuts.
All the job creators tell us that it's
a sure bet.
We can't work it out,
We can't work it out.
We can't work it out.
Deadline's coming fast, and there's no
time
for us to hear your so-called facts.
for us to hear your so-called facts.
Democrat ideas, well, they're a crime.
The only tool we need's an axe.
Let us do it our way,
or else I swear we won't do anything at
all.
You can hit the highway
cuz we will say that it is principle
not gall.
We can't work it out,
We can't work it out.
We can't work it out.
Two thousand and eight, it shouldn't
be.
See Tea crackers marching on the lawn.
See Tea crackers marching on the lawn.
Oligarchs and crooks need to be free
until the Old America's gone.
Let us do it our way
Knock out every law there is since
nineteen twenty eight.
Just forget the real world,
We promise free bananas*, wouldn't that great.
We can't work it out,
We can't work it out.
We can't work it out.
* Distribution of bananas may be
subject to availability, income, party registration, neighborhood,
race and/or religion.
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