Subliminal advertising

No good deed goes unpunished and sometimes vice versa

Last minute gift ideas?

A D.C. kingmaker invites us all to play along.

You decide

In Illinois, where our governors make the license plates

A D.C. kingmaker shares this baseball-related insight.

Francturated Englishification and other amusements

Rules for climbing Mt. Fuji:

• A teffific Gust often overtakes three times consecutively. Keep yourself lying flat on the siope until it's completely blown over. Danger comes soonest when it's despised.
• In case of Bad weather such as, storm, fain, snow and a dense fog, avoid climbing futher than the fifth staition. when the weather breaks Suddely. just give up half-way and Return.
• The nearest-to-the-sky location in Japan is far colder than the feets of the mountain.
• Bring garbage back to your home.

Things people said

The gorillas are naturally bigger in Nigeria

Of course Nigeria’s president Umaru Yar’Adua welcomed the Supreme Court decision vindicating his 2007 election. But will a 4-3 vote quell the spirit of dissent by factions loyal to Atiku Abubakar and Muhammadu Buhari?

Nigerian-born Washington, DC attorney Emmanuel Ogebe says, “This was the 11-hundred pound gorilla in the room. This was the closest Nigeria has ever been to losing the presidency by just one vote. So if the president assumes that this is a mandate, it’s not. If anything, it should send him back to the trenches."

Ogebe says if President Yar'Adua, Vice President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, and the Nigerian state governors would drop their guaranteed immunity from prosecution while in office, it would send a strong signal for reform. If Blagojevich goes to prison, it would give hope to all Nigerians.

This item inadvertently suggested by a College Park sociologist from a colloquy with a Baltimore biomedical researcher, but it all sounds damn familiar from somewhere.

Don't believe your lying eyes

“From the moment the first American tanks crossed the Kuwait border, America was in a proxy war with Iran,” Ware says. “The Iranians knew it, but it took the U.S. four years to figure it out. Now the Iraqi government is comprised almost entirely of factions created in Iran, supported by Iran, or with ties to the Iranian government — as many as 23 members of the Iraqi parliament are former members of Iran’s Revolutionary Guard.” -- war correspondent Michael Ware.

thanks again to an Alabama rights attorney and knee breaker

Where have all the flowers gone?

A Washington, D.C.-based research expert alerts the Beagletarians to a site that provides some insights into where all the money goes (and apparently it's not in a hole in Daddy's arm).

Reader feedbag

In a world of troubles, the editorquemada still want to know the readership figures, endlessly pressing, and among the faithful, we can count these:

A transplanted Okie in the wild Tennessee hills reports a threat that the Republic of Texas will secede, figuring they have 65 percent of the defense industry, enough oil and natural gas reserves and most of the refineries, computer, medical, and universities to keep them free of having to live in the United States of Obamaland who is just like Stalin and Hitler put together, except not even the good parts about Hitler. But don't misunderstand, my Okie friend is not subscribing, although he is silent on the issue of his neighbors.

A national union president with an interest in the bright rays of truth that the Beagle proclaims reports, "I continue to be an avid reader."

A craftsman with a penchant for paronomasia writes, "The good doctor is with his Righteous brethren who have hijacked education 'reform' to bash yet another union so that dewey-eyed ivy leaguers can teach for the the 2 or 3 years needed to pad a grad school application and leave their children reading and writing at a grade level no higher than before."

An Iowa boy in Wisconsin passes on Dan Rostenkowski's apologia, but it ain't much.

Take that, you dawg

Speaking for many in Beagleland.

That's not the only thing Chicago is known for

Regular journalists have to cover the news, and the chattering classes have to gnaw on the bone of the moment, which said bone being Rod Blagojevich who sent so many commentators running for their pronunciation guides.

Moralists on the right are shocked, shocked at all the influence peddling going on in Springfield, but that's just Chicago politics. Moralists blah blah blah about the corrupt Democrats in Chicago, even though the last corrupt Illinois governor to go down was a Republican. Just for fun, let's go back and look at the foreign policy credentials of all the ambassadors to Luxembourg and Bermuda going back to WWII, and we believe you understand our point.

It seems that politicians of all stripes have fallen prey to the lure, and we are certain some of the Beagleship out there, if they'd seen it on the bill of fare, would have paid to sit next to Dick Durbin and feel just like Jimmy Stewart listening solemnly to the sage advice of Claude Rains (who by the way was not even American).

When Democratic Gov. David Walters sold a mess of jobs, and got pinched, a local pol observed, "Everybody has a list. His mistake was writing it down."

Liberalism on the couch

"When the modern liberal mind whines about imaginary victims, rages against imaginary villains and seeks above all else to run the lives of persons competent to run their own lives, the neurosis of the liberal mind becomes painfully obvious," says Lyle H. Rossiter, Jr., MD, who is a psychiatrist, with a brand new book and supposedly no axe to grind.

What does Lyle H. Rossiter, Jr., MD call it when the Advent calendar has become the 25 days of talking about the suppression of Christmas and Christians who must live in their bunkers terrified that some one might say, "Happy Holidays"? What does Lyle H. Rossiter, Jr., MD, calls it when the wacknutters are promising a Nanny state run by Barack "Josef Stalin's bastard grandson" Obama and tells RightThinking Americans to buy up all the guns and gas they can and run for their lives? What does the good doctor call it when folks think it's okay to peep in on the imam on a regular basis just to see if he's up to no good, but taking a tithe out of Pat Robberson's billions is against gawd's law?

A tip of the hat to an Alabama rights lawyer and frequent contributor.

Some people are looking for...

Texas GOSPers wrestle with reality

David Hill, a Texas pollster, had some bad news recently for his friends. Texas is trending like Colorado in the political catastrophe department, and the trending is trending younger and more Hispanic all the time, and how come they won't go our way?

According to Texas voters, GOSPers have some image issues to contend with. They are perceived as arrogant, racist, corrupt, angry, and unwelcoming. Their core issues -- like immigration and cultural values -- don't excite the younger, Hispanic voters they want to attract. Multiple dead Democrats, like Ann Richards and Lyndon Johnson, are far more popular than live Republicationists, like George W. Butch, George HW Bush, and George P. Bush, a young Hispanic.

We know some of our readers (okay, one) don't like Democrats, but down there in the land of two former presidents, the people say the GOSPers are behind on everything -- common sense (-11%), trustworthy, honest, and ethical (-12%), fair and impartial (-20%), care about people like me (-31%), and championing children, the poor, and the elderly (-41%).

Hill's advice is that when people ask about things they want like support for children's health care and investing in education, just tell 'em you got their tax cut right here.

(Thanks and a tip of the hat to a transplanted political junkie whose home team took a shellacking recently. He notes that Hill's advice may play a key role in Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson coming back to challenge known GOSPer Gov. Rick Perry, because she knows that given the choice between a Republicanator and a real Republicanator, Texas voters will go with the one whose hair is slightly higher.)

More advice for TX GOSPers

Watch for all kinds of rules to change

Rove thinks the rules aren't fair because GOSPers weren't able to raise enough money. Of course, he considered Tom the Hammer's pay to play system completely consistent with a vibrant two-party system.

Now comes Peggy Noonan saying that the Department of Homeland Security sound a little Nazi-ish. Hmmm, distasteful and unnecessary, yes, but not so bad as long as the freedom-loving GOSPers were in control.

Beagletonians ev3rywhere find it startling that Peggy never noticed this til yesterday. To Beagle ears it had rung a little Nazi-ish from the start. If she had said it anytime over the past seven years, perhaps Peggy fears she might have been pilloried.

Where to find a lot of Republican'ts in the desert where mebbe they belong according to their own expert pundits and party faithful

The Bugl'es frequent readers include many people who are intimately familiar with Interstate 70 in Utah, which provides some interesting perspectives on the arrogance of government in Republican and Democratic administrations.

Unlike most Interstate Highways, I-70 in Utah was not constructed parallel to or on top of an existing highway and parts were constructed in areas where previously there were no paved roads.

So hop in your favorite conveyance on a fuel source to your liking and take a run down the highway. And shut off the radio.

Correct self-criticism is good for the party and the people

ON slow news days, lazy Beagletorials admit they're not as quick as the brownshirt FAUX. We acknowledge and apologize that rather than barking at predictable dead horses, such as the suppression of Xmas, we raid the wikipedia frequently to find items for consideration. We admit that we find solace, sound advice, and inspiration in history.

The alternative is to listen to Hamity and O'Really? and slamming Obama, not so much for what he has done, not so much for what he says he will do, but for having the temerity of doing what they say he is going to do in some weird goo-goo-land dimension where reality slides out of the way and we become Stalinist Russia the very next day.

The Beagle will shut up if they will

Republigospers are through licking their wounds over their shellacking in 2008 and have moved on. Moved on to whining full time about the unfair advantages Barack Obama had -- too many people liked him, his message was more effective coming out of his mouth than McCain't's, he had too strong of a ground organization, and too much money. All Karl Rove wants is good government, and he sets forth a modest proposal to level the playing field and fix all problems with campaign finance by allowing INDIVIDUALS TO CONTRIBUTE WITHOUT LIMIT.

Then, in one of the more stunning non sequiturs we've seen lately, if and only if we allow unlimited contributions, then we could have more transparency about who gave money. Karl explains helpfully that "That would give voters the tools they need to determine if a candidate is getting too much from unattractive people."

Cal Thomas' religious police can play a key role in this new enlightened democracy by informing on the most unattractive people.

Bring your tired, huddled masses so we can fix 'em

Cal Thomas has always been a passionate advocate of religious liberty -- which should be extended freely to all those who agree with him completely. Jews and Catholics get a pass for now, but here is the broad outline of his initial plan to bring more souls to Christ through the agency of the jackboot religious police:

"At the very least, all non-Western immigrants to Britain and America should be told prior to their arrival that our intention is to westernize them. They must learn English, study and embrace the history of their host nation and, if they are Muslim, they will be allowed to worship only in existing mosques. No new ones should be built. Existing mosques must be monitored to make sure that hate is not taught and aggressive behavior toward their host countries is not promoted. If such behavior and speech are detected, the mosques should be closed and the imams arrested or deported."

Random wikipedia

The Anglo-Zanzibar War was fought between the United Kingdom and Zanzibar on 27 August 1896. The conflict lasted around 40 minutes and is the shortest war in recorded history

The chilling new best seller

Attention Walmart shoppers

Just as sure as the pressure of standing in the cold eight hours might cause a tense assembly to shatter the doors and stample rabid to loot the shelves, hungry for their blue light bargain and double percentages off, grabbing up fistfuls of shoddy Chinese electronics and Indonesian track jackets and then borrowing more money from China to do it, things might be heating up. What are you gonna do when pinstripes from Shanghai take California for collateral?

A broad range of perspectives

For the middle high brows Gorgeous Geo Will explains that the liberal socialists just love to make you want the government want to do something for you so they can get their sticky hands deeper in your pockets.

For the less high browed the NewGingrich says the liberal fascists want to force people to have gay sex and that is not what the Bible intended, nor since we're on the topic the Koran nor Torah. We might draw the line on the Upanishads or something weird, but that's just not what real Americans from real America want.

Mike Hucklebee tells the NewYorker he'd-a mopped the floor if he'd-a got the nomination.

Barack's other book

You can check our figures

Eighty-one posts in October and 33 so far in November equals more than 60 percent less content than last month with fewer cartoons, animations, or observations than previously, the result of preoccupations, paid employment, snow, rain, sleet, and etc., that have kept the appointed beagletorials from their intrepid rounds to underimaginable degrees.

Lift Every Voice and Sing

Let our rejoicing rise
High as the listening skies,
Let it resound loud as the rolling sea.

Sing a song full of the faith that the dark past has taught us,
Sing a song full of the HOPE that the present has brought us.

for full text

Reader feedbag

An Oklahoma musician says keep the Beagle barking, not recognizing that the editerrible tradition is more of a political vehicle and not big on the policy and having to watch Faux News during the offseason, but ok.

A faithful Pennsylvania reader writes, "Change? Looks like the usual suspects," and some of us are not able to argue while others say it's good we have some depth on the bench, and the most cynical say at least our graybeards ain't on respirators, and still others are still scratching their heads quizzily.

The Beagletolerables believe there is no better time for community conversations about race, class, language, and culture in America than right now. A North Carolina educator has gotten the ball rolling.

Others, from distant points, have been sketchy in their reports, if not their characters.

As Thomas Nast spins...

Join the conversation

The Beagletonian School of Philosophy is definitely porch-oriented, as with the Ionians, theorizing to dizzyingly complex degrees and sipping mint juleps without the crushed ice, crushed mint, or syrup.

The latest koan to get the tattered toga cynics going was this –

If the pain of living in a Socialist Tyranny is so much that RushLimbo goes back on the stuff, does that mean the Democratic party’s lack of values really does undermine the American character?

How to solve the economic and energy crises in one swell foop

Wind is going to be big, super big, in the future international energy economy, nicht wahr?
Investors, distressed that their billions have turned into mere hundreds of millions are looking for a safe place to put their money. They want solid futures, tangibles.

One word: Air.

Right now air is cheap, cheap as hell. Wind? same thing, right now, very cheap, an easy market to get into. But when ExxonMobileShellBPConocoPepBoys grab up all the isobars and millibars, you 'll be paying out the you know what and calling the wind Ma-ri-yi-yi. The Beagleterrible corporate HQ is considering diversifying into wind futures, and assure the readers that there has never been a better time to buy wind. (Serious inquiries only)

(Thanks to an Oklahoma closer for this and other energy alerts)

Don't believe your lying eyes

Michele "Little Tailgunner Joe" Bachman says her call for an investigation into the pro-American and anti-American elements in Congress was just an "urban legend."

She didn't say it, and the Beagletorial staff didn't see her say it about six times.

This is common in GOSPer politics, that somehow the glitter and glam of MSM coverage has distorted the comfortable reality of knowing in that private warm place, you were "cleared of all partisan-motivated charges," as both Sarah Paling and Ted Sleazings claimed.

If Americans paid any attention, they would remember the NewGingrinch banging everything in stockings while castigating the President for moral shortcomings and Tom the Hammer DeLay running the Congress as a strictly pay-to-play system from behind the wide shield of Tom Hastert's ass. Nope, believe they were all cleared of all partisan motivated charges and probably never resigned in disgrace.

And, therefore, they enjoy credibility as respected members of the chattering class and the Congress when they ought to be greeters as Walmart.

(credit a Dupont Circle policy manufacturer who is currently able to boil a kettle of water on her head steaming about the midnight deregulations)

Bush Administration busy giving away the store

In a frantic effort to hobble the Obama Administration (remember George HWB sending troops to Somalia just before WJC took office? "Here ya go...Best of luck and all that."), Christmas is coming a little early for polluters and other foul-smelling pals of the Bushies.

ProPublica has a list if you are interested -- the right to mine uranium smack in the middle of the Grand Canyon (ok, mebbe not quite), the right to report less, the right to self-regulate, the right to do whatever you goddam feel like.

"I got yer change you can believe in right here," Wah? said chirpily. "Now try changing it back...ha hahaha ha."

Just when you thought ad season was over

A first dog story

Sheesh. Just like the Cuban Missile Crisis or something, but they gotta get this hypoallergenic dog, and all over the world there are heavily allergenic dogs who will be barred from the White House, and what's next? You can't play with a heavily allergenic dog in Lafayette Park? and then you're gonna ban them from the District in case your precious daughters gotta walk across the street?

Barack is surely taking Harry S Truman's advice, but Harry didn't know nothing about a hypoallergenic dog.

Which are the better angles of our nature?

On cupcakes and happiness

A bold proclamation

George Wiil, a man who perpetually suffers from too much lemon in his Darjeeling, says now that Barack Obama's election is an abomination to the founding generation who wanted to "prevent the selection of a president from being determined by the 'popular arts' of campaigning, such as rhetoric."

Clearly, the preferable system to Wiil is to have the President selected by the Party graybeards, preferably a scion of a previous President, and then the Electoral College will make sure that the voters don't do something stoopid, and -- if they do -- the Supreme Court is there to carry out the will of the triumphant.

Capitalism vs. socialism

From now until the last dog dies, the wingnut media will be after Barack Obama and the Democratic Congress about their socialistic plans for America. But despite the rhetoric of Adam Smith et al., what kind of capitalism are they afraid of dismantling?

• Borrowing money from China and Saudi Arabia to give out $600 checks so people can buy more stuff from China and Saudi Arabia.
• Giving $700 billion to banks and other investment firms to do with as they like.
  
• Subsiding corporations for their losses; tax breaks so they can keep more of their gains.
• Installing an official state religion (Halliburtonism),

Damn, this socialism you talk about -- investing in people, supporting families, investing in communities -- that sounds terrible. Is the government really gonna take away my bass boat?

Dare to dream

Coincidence or collaboration?

'The goal, said debate-prep coach Michael Sheehan (to Newsweek), was to make McCain look like Mr. Wilson, the cranky next-door neighbor in the comic strip "Dennis the Menace," always yelling at the neighborhood kids."

Faithful readers and astute observers read it here first. The Obama message meisters decided on Mr. Wilson after dial testing the array they found on the Beagle.

An excellent perspective on the present hour

Stringent Beagleterrible standards apply to all submissions and hijacked pieces that come in the form of interesting emails, and neither quality nor family bonds can compel us to overcome our Procrustean space limitations. See here.

Ask Dr. Hin?

Q: Can you believe it?

A: While manifestation is pure illusion, what then is unbelievable?

Q: Really, can you believe it?

A: In the infinite circle of time, any point in the circle is indistinguishable from another.

Q: Are you levitating?

A: Aren't you? I don't think I'm ever gone come down.

AdiosTancredo, Hola Chaffetz

A former civics teacher now working as a paid goon helped to draw attention to an issue of which the Beagletorial staff was previously unaware. Tom Tancredo, of the Know Nothing Party (see Martin Scorsese's Gangs of New York), is being replaced, so to speak, with a younger, livelier hotshot from the rocky mountain west (presumably with some support from the appalachian mountain west) who wants to round up all the undocumenteds and put them in tents surrounded by barbed wire (bob wire to you).

He tried to say this was the same as what the Western Governors Association came up with, but Bill Richardson and Janet Napolitano weren't the only ones to take offense. His old boss -- Jon Huntsman Junior -- also said that wasn't what he had in mind. The Deseret News helpfully explained that it wasn't the kind of tents you get at Cabela's, but more sturdy, industrial strength-type institutional tents, apparently suitable for desert living in Utah behind bob wire.

"These tents are being used in Idaho, Florida, Texas, Hawaii and even in Washington County," Jason Chaffetz said (to the Deseret News). "I keep getting tripped up by the word 'tent.' I could do better if I called them eco-friendly, highly portable, innovative structures."

Apparently that clarification was sufficient for him to pick up all the green voters in his district.

The reddest state

The Beagle's friends in Utah must bow to the Beagle's friends in Oklahoma -- the reddest state in 2008 with a whopping 66 percent, and running into the 70s down in Little Dixie (y'know, Hugo, Idabel, Bug Tussle).

That's a change from the state's earlier socialist roots that helped influence the state flag that flew from 1911-24. But that whole ruckus over in old Eurasia in 1917 caused some of the citizens to whup themselves into a frenzy so frothy that they changed the flag to its present Indian shield (honoring the folks the Boomers and Sooners conspired to screw over in every other imaginable way) on a turquoise background (the pantone of which is solemnly specified by statute). But that wasn't enough....

According to Wikipedia, "Oklahoma statute still provides that flying 'any red flag or other emblem or banner, indicating disloyalty to the Government of the United States or a belief in anarchy or other political doctrines or beliefs, whose objects are either the disruption or destruction of organized government, or the defiance of the laws of the United States or of the State of Oklahoma' is a felony with a possible 10 year prison sentence and a $1,000 fine."

So perhaps this provides a partial explanation, in that since the McCain't-Paling ticket tried to make it a referendum on loyalty to the United States, and since any emblem or banner indicating disloyalty (an Obama button or yard sign, for example) could draw a 10-year sentence, then hats off to the brave souls who risked fines or imprisonment and voted for Barack anyway.

They call it the White House, but that's just a temporary condition

Ah, blood to blood
Ah, players to ladies
The last percentage count was eighty
You don't need the bullet when you got the ballot
Are you up for the downstroke, CC?
Chocolate city
Are you with me out there?

And when they come to march on ya
Tell 'em to make sure they got their James Brown pass
And don't be surprised if Barack is in the White House
Reverend Ike, Secretary of the Treasure
Richard Pryor, Minister of Education
Stevie Wonder, Secretary of FINE arts
And Miss Aretha Franklin, the First Lady

Are you out there, CC?
A chocolate city is no dream
It's my piece of the rock and I dig you, CC
God bless Chocolate City and its (gainin' on ya!) vanilla

suburbs

The pro-American parts of America (indicated by various colors)

From a Lincolnian Republican

With malice toward none, with charity for all, ...let us strive on to finish the work we are in, ...to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln, Second Inaugural Address, Mar. 4, 1865

You think Barack is young

Wikipedia announced the investiture of King Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck of Bhutan, whose father abdicated two years ago leaving Jigme the job of transferring his nation from a hereditary monarchy to a democracy. Maybe it'll be good for Barack to have a Bhutanese soul brother facing similar circumstances.

Sarah announces she's going Rogue

Have you seen the way that FOX is carving up their darling, Sarah, like a Thanksgiving turkey?

In the now it can be told dept., various unnamed McCain't weasels reported she didn't know the fundamentals of basic government, she thought Africa was a country, she shocked (male) aides by coming out in a robe (wink) when they were supposed to pick her up, that she's spent way so much more than the $150,000 for clothes, and that just about full time her aides were in tears because of the bitchy way she treated them.

Billy O'Really? jumped to her defense, saying those minor lapses in history, geography, civics, sociology, statecraft, warcraft (not the game), etc. -- could easily be learned, so what is the problem?

We guess is a way of saying, "Haven't ya noticed? We like awr prezdents dummern dirt."

Where we stand

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. ended his 1959 speech to the Hawaiian legislature by quoting a prayer from a preacher who had once been a slave, and it’s an apt description of the idea of America today: “Lord, we ain’t what we want to be; we ain’t what we ought to be; we ain’t what we gonna be, but, thank God, we ain’t what we was.”
via Nicholas Kristoff

Not fair!

Now that we don't have to worry about Treasury Secretary Phil Gramm -- with his economic program of telling everyone to 'stop whining' while we give away the store to those who need it least -- the Beagleterribles cannot help but be struck by the whining of the GOSPers that has been going on for weeks, that Obama should not be president because he's too popular, too many people like him, and his campaign has too much money to spend. Dag. That's just plain undemocratic.

Future elections should build in some kind of parity, so that politicians who are well-liked -- especially if they are Democratic candidates -- should have to give some points to opposing candidates who are not well-liked. That would make democracy fairer, don't you think?

From a real Jacksonian Democrat

Never for a moment believe that the great body of the citizens of any State or States can deliberately intend to do wrong. They may, under the influence of [Rash Limbo, Sean Ham-ity, Billy O'Really?], temporary excitement or misguided opinions, commit mistakes; they may be misled for a time by the suggestions of self-interest; but in a community so enlightened and patriotic as the people of the United States argument will soon make them sensible of their errors, and when convinced they will be ready to repair them.

-- Andrew Jackson

A toast

Beagletarians everywhere should join in lapping up the last drips of sour mash in celebration, and some of the lucky ones are in Grant Park. To a better future.

Actually not officially admitted to the union until 1954 or something

After four years of having bad feelings about the state of Ohio, the Beagletolerables have agreed to reconsider... long about the time Faux News called it for Obama, 9:18 p.m. or so (somewhere in Brazil time).

Canvassing in the pro-America parts of America

from a faithful correspondent and Washington, D.C. kingmaker who is a second or third cousin twice or more removed from the circuit rider in Missouri

Who owns us?

Foreign owners of US Treasury Securities (July 2008)
Nation	billions of dollars	percentage
Japan	593.4	22.17%
Mainland China	518.7	19.38%
United Kingdom	290.8	10.87%
Oil exporters	173.9	6.50%
Brazil	148.4	5.54%
Caribbean banking centers	133.5	4.99%
Luxembourg	75.8	2.83%
Russia	74.1	2.77%
Hong Kong	60.6	2.26%
Switzerland	45.1	1.69%
Republic of China (Taiwan)	42.3	1.58%
Norway	41.8	1.56%
Germany	41.1	1.54%
Mexico	36.0	1.35%
South Korea	35.3	1.32%
Turkey	32.4	1.21%
Thailand	31.8	1.19%
Singapore	31.4	1.17%
Canada	26.6	0.99%
Netherlands	14.9	0.56%
Poland	13.9	0.52%
Egypt	13.4	0.50%
Chile	13.1	0.49%
India	13.0	0.49%
Sweden	12.4	0.46%
Belgium	12.0	0.45%
Ireland	11.2	0.42%
All other	139.5	5.21%
Grand Total	2676.4

Beagletarians await results atop pins and needles

Looking ahead

Field notes

A chevalier and "French" wine mogul working in the Communist-occupied sections of Northern Virginia has packed up a passel of Hebrew yard signs to take down to North Carolina in an overt effort to "confuse the crackers" into voting against Liddy. Somehow the mathematics of it escape me, but the spirit is apparently willing.

A Washington filmmaker finds himself in Portland, Oregon, employing various strategies, presumably including shouting down at Shouting Square whatever that's called where the Bible thumpers and alcoholics howl competing philosophies at each other, or something, he wasn't really specific on the details.

A fretful mother stood over her first born to watch her vote. A nervous nation is waiting to see a first-time Oklahoma voter vote. An incensed Maryland voter takes the 100 percent reasonable position that Diebold should be forced to buy back the machines that Maryland is going to get rid of after this election. If McCain't should win Maryland, it could be an indicator the machines are rigged. If he wins Baltimore, it will be Harare in July.

Beagleland has an extensive network of field organizers and agents from Kampala to Nevada, from Missouri to the rest of Missouri, from all hellandgone and back to your place, but many of them are dilatory about turning in their reports and observations.

If the papers and parties would only listen, Omaha could be in Obama's pocket

A notorious Nebraska newspaperman knows the heartbreak of coining a brilliant neologism that neither wins the Washington Post Style INvitational's stoopid contest nor sparks a prairie brushfire that draws the attention of the MSM until one knows the satisfaction of having an actual news anchor use the apt expression you thought up in the shower...

that many Republigasp-leaning female voters have been Palineated and may pull the Dem lever after all.

Next steps

Beagle readers are known world wild for their can do spirit and their ability and willingness to "lick our problem" in the words of one Beagletarian who submits the delightful piece that, sadly, runs afoul of Beagleterrible space requirements....

See it here.

Some recycled footage

Watch this space

Keep posted for our transition to our post-election blogspace.

A commentary on the debate

Except in Vermont and Wisconsin

Swelling numbers of ardent supporters, some of them living

The Beagle calls for a full investigation

Ask Dr. Hin?

Q: How do you think they're gonna try to do it this time? Cross wire the computers in Columbus and Cleveland? Butterfly the ballots in Bangor and Bettendorf? Shred assorted mail-ins in Las Cruces? Don't mail back mail-in requests in D.C.? Bury North Vegas provisionals in the deepest hole in the desert? Hack in all the counters in Montgomery and Bucks counties and scatter their votes from Wilkes-Barre to Uniontown? Freeze lines in Madison? Start fist fights in poll lines in Milwaukee? Turn out the lights in East St. Louis? Temporarily suspend voting rights in Gary? Knock people in line in Lincoln with a balpeen hammer? Declare victory before California, Oregon, and Washington get a chance to vote? I mean, I admit, I'm getting nervous.

A: It may take an overwhelming tide.

Q: Are you smoking that koolaid or drinking it?

A: Leave no doubt.

Yard sign

Who cares what the Brits think, but the Economist weighs in

And this cannot be another election where the choice is based merely on fear. In terms of painting a brighter future for America and the world, Mr Obama has produced the more compelling and detailed portrait. He has campaigned with more style, intelligence and discipline than his opponent. Whether he can fulfil his immense potential remains to be seen. But Mr Obama deserves the presidency.

Another Brit, crankier, snottier, and more self-absorbed than Andrew Sullivan, who will probably find this post googling himself and rear back on the Beagleterribles like a rabid raccoon with the gobsmacked flailing, scratching, and toxic dribbling, writes:

The Joe Plumbers of America certainly will connect the dots [that William Ayres and Charlie Manson will be in Obama's cabinet] and make their voices known at the ballot boxes on November 4.

We’ll hopefully have a new first couple in the White House who are for America -- not a couple who have been pushing to usher in a new era of government-dominated socialism that militates against the values of individual liberty and limited government that America has always held dear.

Just in time for Halloween

submitted by a Dupont Circle policy manufacturer

I wanna be sedated

If that's their daisy ad...

As Sgt Esterhaus says

Reader Feedbag

A Montgomery philomath challenges the veracity of recently published transcripts of Sarah Paling's heartfelt prayers... Scratch that. What we meant to say was a Montgomery philologist is convinced she has determined it was a clumsy forgery because "there is not one 'also' in this entire prayer, so I know Sarah didn't actually say it!"

A Brooklyn therapist asks uncomfortable questions about circulation growth, which we have always faithfully reported according to projected votership in Beaglepolls, and although some early projections may have been inflated, it is clear that Beagleship is upwards in the low two digits, still an asterisk on the tip of a smaller asterisk of the conglomerated global media.

Earlier we meant to report that a Connecticut political kingmaker who knew Nancy Pelosi when she was a gleam in the Mayor of Baltimore's eyes now situated in the People's Republic of Northern Virginia did raise his head to bark, "Go, Beagle, go," but has not had other comments or commentary on the present state of affairs.

Ask Dr. Hin?

Q: Is there a Freudian in the house? I mean, I believe in healthy competition and all, but...Don't you see the potential for conflicting advice and inconclusive results and, potentially, other deleterious effects, including confusion, consternation, cattywampus conclusions, and concatenations of conflict and chaos?

A: You're a wigwam. You're a tipi.

Q: What?

A: You're two tents.

Q: Since the wigwam is more of a wattle and mud construction, I don't think it qualifies as a tent, in the conventional sense.

A: You get the point.

Q: But, I....

A: Bup, bup, bup...genug!

Was it Alexis de Tocqueville who said, 'Git er done'?

Do it yourself debate.

McCain't-Paling on the couch

Your deep-rooted resentment of your Admiralty ancestry has left you brimming with anger at anyone who would try to tell you what to do, regardless of the value of facts, factors, fractals, or other information that might undermine your certainty in a sense of absolutes, which may not be the same determining guidance that motivated you last year, last week, or even ten minutes ago.

Psychobeaglebabblish therapy would begin with a expiatory ritual that could be a "town meeting" of the American people, if you will, in which you begin by apologizing for being such an ass throughout your career, and especially the last few weeks of this campaign.

Dittoheads are obsessed

Conspiracy theory #1: Obama rushed to Hawaii, not to visit his sick grandma, but to destroy all evidence that he wasn't native-born, unlike John McCain't who was born in the good ole U.S. of A. in the great state of Panama Canal Zone.

Conspiracy theory#2: Obama is a socialist and a terrorist, terrorist-socialist, and he and his other terrorist and socialist and socialist-terrorist friends have a secret plan to convert America to a socialist state through state-sponsored terror and taking Rush Limbo off the air.

Conspiracy theory #3: That the skinhead plot to kill Obama was devised to distract the MSM from the smoking gun the right now has that Obama plans to redistribute all the money and guns away from white people and give it to African Americans.

The original Alaskan maverick

He used to be Ted Stevens, irascible King of the Dominion of Federal Pork, but you can call him #11403

For all those who say that Sarah Palin is the most beleaguered woman in American political history...

allow the Beagletarians to introduce you to our friend, Hillary Clinton. One of the most entertaining occupations this election season has been to watch the Pat Bleechanans, Sean Ham-itys, Billy O'Reallys?, and Rash Limbos talking glowingly about how wonderful Hillary Clinton is. Even Ann C(a certain word)lter said she would vote for Hillary over McCain't, but drat it all, she says she's planning to get blotto with all her righteous sistas and go pull the level for Palin with McCain't just going along for the ride. (Note: Annie is really for repealing the 19th Amendment, since too many women vote Democratic).

Flap about her clothes? Hillary's heard it. Questioning her abilities and judgments as a mother? Hillary's had it. Questions about her preparation, abilities, emotional suitability, sanity, allegations about affairs, questions about her sexual orientation, on-going -- multiyear -- investigations into loose ends and dead ends? She's had it.

Sarah -- come back to us after 15 years of dealing with the constant drumbeat of criticism and questioning, and show us the same good grace and good humor that Hillary has shown, and then we'll decide whether you're as tough as you want us to think.

Geaux Obama

From a committed advocate with deep southern roots.

Funny or die

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

By request of a Montgomery County union goon

For those who can't get enough of whomping on Sarah Palin, more funny or die (not so funny)

Michelle Bachman's investigation into who in Congress is pro-American and anti-American quietly gets underway

A forward look

Endorsements

Rolling Stone recommended by an eastern Tennessee Democrat.
New Yorker recommended from outside Tennessee.
Colin Powell on Meet the Press.

Don't misbehave

Ready, fire, aim

What else can she do?

For more on the story

McCain comes with all that experience and says he has a plan

A new plan

It's up to you

More free ads

More ugly food

A scene from simpler times

Federal prosecutors were investigating some bank examiners. Ha ha. Reportedly, the employees embezzled a few million dollars. Ha ha ha. How quaint. We're all getting soaked for trillions, ha ha ha ha. What did they think they were going to buy with their measly haul? A couple of Krugerrands? Ha ha ha ha. A couple of million. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Maybe not weekly