Ask Dr. Hin?

Q: "A source familiar with the situation" told The Associated Press that "a heart attack appeared to have caused the cardiac arrest that led to the pop icon's death." Is that like "coronary thrombosis appeared to prevent an orderly flow in the king of pop's chestal area" or "the infarction was abrupt and lead his ticker to an unscheduled conclusion" or what?

A: To be honest, I slept through a good part of the physiology lectures. A source familiar with the situation means that the gardener's aunt's next door neighbor was sure that was the case, but she may have been just watching some CSI reruns.

Overlooked amid the furor

Having not looked at or considered "the media" over the past two months, we turn on the tv to see endless footage of Michael Jackson's remains carried from the house to the helicopter, the the helicopter to the ambulance, from the ambulance, etc. ad nauseum, all stepping on the headline:

The Hulk Killed the King of Pop

Even his resident cardiologist couldn't save him from Lou Ferrigno's hyperrigorous regime designed to get sickly MJ into Bruce Springsteen form.

"Come on, ya pansy, just a few dozen more squat thrusts until ya can really feel the burn..."

The End

"Overall, Americans are pretty sure that reality’s clock is winding down rapidly. A 1994 U.S. News & World Report poll showed that 6 in 10 Americans—people of all faith backgrounds—believe the world will come to an end eventually."

Jesus is coming back for sure, and as evidence, what more do you need than majority opinion? Sixty percent agree that the world will come to an end eventually, and it is only reasonable to believe that 59 percent believe that it will end with Jesus descending and zapping all the people who don't believe in Rush and Bleechh, and then calling up Billy O'Really? and the rest of the faithful in corporeal form to sitteth and reigneth on the right hand. Presumably, only 1 percent of the rest believe that the world will eventually come to an end on or before 5 billion years from now when the sun expands to kill us.

Rapture theology was invented by a man named John Nelson Darby of the Plymouth Brethren in Massachusetts in 1827 and was popularized by the Scofield Bible in 1909, according to the Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge.

-- from a Capitol Hill policymanufacturer who monitors religious trends for the Beagle.

The curious case of George Macaque

Other babies at:

Zowie what goes on

About four minutes in the life of Tokyo

Slugs of the future

A Capitol Hill poli- cy manu- fact- urer hints that our current energy issues might by partly caused by the attitude that the highest pinnacle of robotitry is to have something that can go get you a soda out of the fridge.

This and many more meditations on the future conditional at Paleofuture.com.

How many bunnies do you have?

A strictly independent mailer and informational media specialist suggests that Beagletarians everywhere would appreciate hearing about the Oregon bunny lady who kept hundreds of bunnies all over the house, crammed in the cabinets, snuggled under the bed, chilling in the refrigerator, et cetera.

In the interest of public safety, Miriam Sakewitz, 47, was nabbed in a Tigard hotel on multiple charges of having an unsafe surfeit of Lagomorpha on or about the premises.

Bringing the sheaves back in

We could say that we monitor Military.com every day, but that would be a damn lie. We are, however, intrigued by the notion that some high in the military apparatus believe their mission comes straight from Gen. Ann Coulter, "to invade their countries, kill their leaders, and convert them to Christianity," but apparently that isn't official policy, there never was such a plan, and there's no need to gather up all those Bibles printed in Pashto and Dari for redistribution when the heat dies down.