Some saying this is what we should be ready for

Ask Dr. Hin?

Q: In the words of the French poets, "Ou se trouve les Beagles d'hier?"

A: Perceiving at the world and national events appropriately from extreme distance, the consequences seem less monumental like the squeak of a irritable beetle on a frond in the tropical jungle.

Q: I am used to getting answers, news, information, and opinion but lately the lackadaisicality of some sleeping dogs goes too far?

A: Only through the prism of hysteria one gets steadily dieting on O'ReallyHamityBleech! does the sense of hopelessness and stoopity reign supreme.

Q: Sotomayor? Health care? The Afghan expansion? Why doesn't China shut down the North Korean nuclear tests?

A: All will be reviewed in the fullness of time.

The Beagletown Bugle Vol. 2

The Bealgles clebrate the annerversory, first annuversity, one year s continuous service to the readership and the nation. A reader ooverwhelmingly attributes the growhht of reeders=chip is due 2 pandemic beaglemania. 100%

Maybe if you'd read this before...

Kultral notes

Errant Beagles inadvertently recommended a movie about a turkey headed monster that lives on the blood of junkies, and we hope nothing untoward happened to those who watched more than five minutes of Blood Freak.

Admit it

Kultral notes

History Korner

Once upon a time....
The anti-Reconstruction Democrats went by the name "Jaybirds" and the pro-Reconstruction Democrats went by the name "Woodpeckers," and they fought to the death until the state of Texas declared martial law, reconstructed the Fort Bend County government and put the Jaybirds in charge. The Jaybirds controlled politics and government in the county for many long years building a political base focused on the shared values of racism and hostility to the federal government. Sound familiar?

For political longevity, we give you Hilman Moore. He has been mayor of Richmond, the Fort Bend County seat, since 1949.

At an area graduation ceremony

A proud grandfather snagged an Obama operative to share his experience that he had stood in the cold in 1961 at the inauguration and been at the breakfast the morning JFK was shot, and he has never felt more hopeful about the country than he is now. The Chicago architect said he would pass that along to the president, but that is the kind of thing one would expect a Windy City pol to say.

America first

Living in squalor, forced to work at gunpoint, smuggling fees deducted from their pay. These are the jobs that illegals are taking away from red-blooded Americans.

Woody Guthrie said it best.

What are the monkey laws in your state?

Find out for sure.

Guinness celebrates its 250th year

Modern Drunkard Magazine runs down the top 10 booze mascots, including Big Chief Toucan.

John Gilroy, the Audubon of stout advertising started with a pelican and wrote the rhyme:

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
Its bill can hold more than its belly can.
It can hold in its beak
Enough for a week
I simply don’t know how the hell he can.

Dorothy L. Sayers forwent the coarse and offered a promise of Paradise:

If he can say as you can
‘Guinness is good for you’
How grand to be a Toucan!
Just think what Toucan do.

More about Guinness and the Sesqyihetchletarian or whatever 250 is.

Cause and effect

The Beaglemonitors cannot help but notice that readership exploded during the recent two-week hiatus -- running up over 2300, without further gratuitous Elvis postings. Again, focus groups and sit down interviews reveal that NOT ONE PERSON YET HAS REPORTED THAT THEY UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT.

The Empress of All Policy states: "I understand all the individual words, but at the end of the day at the end of a sentence, what the hell was that all about?" (rough paraphrase)

A recently retired Sheepshead Bay genius concurs, "Your take on the metaphysical permutations of arcane topics breezes past like an Oklahoma windstorm."

We now consider one New Year's Resolution mission accomplished, having posted outsider arts of a fashion, and having gotten such tremendous reception, will now move the entire collection offsite to the Beagletown Art Gallery.

Saenger theater

Private collection

Marvin Gaye

Private collection

The one thing that I've found, I'll still be digging on James Brown

Private collection

An understandable misunderstanding

The St. Bernard Parish residents were rightly concerned that the animal running through the alley was too weird for words -- some beast escaped from Adubon or a Loyola science lab experiment gone terribly wrong -- not a beloved $3,500 cat that flew first class from California to MSY.

In defense of her husband, Clara said they "shooed" the cat, not "shooted" the cat. On further consideration, what she meant to say was they eschewed the cat, but under direct questioning she explain that, no, they "achooed" at the cat, because they're allergic.

Hey, Mabel

David Brooks and John Ford

"The Republicans talk more about the market than about society, more about income than quality of life. They celebrate capitalism, which is a means, and are inarticulate about the good life, which is the end. They take things like tax cuts, which are tactics that are good in some circumstances, and elevate them to holy principle, to be pursued in all circumstances."

In the same way, we have said for years that if "It's a Wonderful Life," were remade today (by Fox studios instead of Liberty Films), George Bailey would be the socialist spouting villain and Henry Potter would be the hero, allowing capitalism to create a utopia.

According to IMDB, "In 1947, an FBI analyst submitted an addition to a memo on "Communist infiltration of the motion picture industry" that the film's "obvious" attempt to discredit bankers "is a common trick used by Communists."

Heros of America -- George

Sid Coincidental and his Perfunctory Orchestra

Hampden poker

That'll be funny in about 80 years